Having Emotional Intelligence is about knowing how to manage yourself well, and how to manage your relationship with others in a productive and positive way.
Successful business leaders have been found to have 10 core EQ competencies (RocheMartin) but often people struggle to understand HOW they can improve their emotional intelligence.
There are lots of things you can do to build your EQ levels, but know what you won’t do is often just as important as knowing what you will do. In fact, people often struggle more with what they shouldn’t do.
Here’s 5 things that you won’t find successful business leaders doing.
- They won’t say “yes” to everything and anything. Saying “no” is one of the hardest things my clients often report to me. They find their time is “stolen” by doing things they really didn’t want to but feel an obligation (sometimes for very obscure reasons) to do. But don’t give a washy “I’m not sure if I can”. A firm but polite, “sorry I’d like to help, but I can’t take that on right now” should be enough to close down the request to leave you free to fulfill your existing commitments.
- They don’t take things personally. Successful people don’t waste their time reading criticism into things, or bearing grudges. It’s wasted energy. They take things at face value and let go of emotional attachment to things said or done. What are you holding personally right now, that you could let go of? You’ll find it a relief and will free up some headspace!
- They won’t spend time with negative people. Those who constantly find fault, complain or wallow in their pity parties suck the energy out of your life. People who only focus on problems have limited ability to devise solutions. Avoid prolonged conversations with such people, re-direct the conversation or ask them how they might solve the problem – but don’t join their gang!
- They won’t be perfect. I often think that perfectionists have a tough gig. Nothing is ever good enough and they have a constant sense of failure. Successful leaders know when good enough is good enough, when the benefit outweighs the cost of the effort and when it’s time to stop. You won’t find them tweaking something ad nauseum when they could be doing more lucrative productive things.
- They won’t ignore the lessons learned. Failure is painful and difficult to admit. Often we hide it, or move on without a backward glance. But in failure are the rich lessons for success and you won’t find successful people failing to acknowledge and learn those lessons.
Emotional Intelligence can be measured, skill by skill, to show you where your strengths and weaknesses lie. Developing self-awareness, confidence, assertiveness and other abilities help you to lead at your highest level.